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Fall into Process

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Even though the days are rapidly getting darker and the leaves are starting to die September always has felt like a refresh, a re-energize and reset time of year for me. Perhaps it is because fall is the off-season for summer sports, the start of a new school year, a time to find routine again after all the summer adventuring. A time to reflect and prioritize life goals again. I even excitedly signed up for a race for the first time in almost a year! Maybe I’m finding comfort in an old and almost lifelong familiar type of goal. The type of goal that has anchored and centered me through the rest of life’s chaos and uncertainties. A goal that gives me a bit more purpose to my now mainly recreational, socially driven, constantly changing on a whim, go with the flow exercise routine.

As I sat in supervision for a counselling client recently, my very wise supervisor reminded me. “I know you, you want to set goals, and see the external results to show that change has occurred. But remember internal change is always happening and that is part of the process.” She talked about the research on addiction, and how through several cycles of relapse, which we often externally judge as “failure”, change occurs, new perspectives are formed, strength and courage are grown. She talked about seeing clients over years with the same struggles but that coming back over and over was part of the internal process of change that helps them move forward.

Process is the avenue of change. It is hard but can be deeply rewarding work. As a mental performance consultant in sport, we are often the ones who guide athletes to reflect on their process, and the intangibles, while most everyone else in their high performance world is focused on the externals as proof of change, progression, and results.

Self-discovery through taking time for the process is how we personally evolve, grow, and change in sport and life. I am touched by the athletes and clients that sit with me and courageously describe their most transformational moments that have come out of deep dark places of despair. And the difficult self-reflection that follows. Sometimes the process is allowing the uncomfortable emotions to wash over, making space to simply express frustrations, or letting out tears of disillusionment. The process can be feeling accepted without judgement and truly heard by another human being. It can be finding a new perspective, or a new way of looking at things. At other times, it may be letting go of feelings and thoughts, and tuning into your bodily awareness, your “felt sense”, what your body is telling you, what you’re feeling in your stomach or your chest.

Trusting the process isn’t easy. Inviting yourself to write, walk, run, or just sit still through it is even harder. And when you find someone willing to walk through the process alongside you, you are truly lucky.

“For what it is worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whatever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope find the courage to start all over again.”

– Eric Roth (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

The Process of Breaking Up with Racing

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Not so long ago I was flirting on and off with taking an old love affair of mine up to a new level of commitment. I’d Google it, and research what others were saying about it, all in my quest to decide if it was worth my time and effort. I’d look at the options, and pros and cons of such an undertaking. I’d ask my friends who had experienced it what they thought of the idea. Most of them expressed their enthusiasm to me and gave me their best tips. Some were more neutral and expressed concern for some of the risks involved. I even went as far as announcing to everyone as we gave personal updates around the table at a work meeting, that I was taking on this new challenge. If was as if by announcing it out loud to some colleagues that it would somehow cement my present ambiguity into a future of rock solid motivation. Well, that meeting was about six months ago. After retiring from professional racing, it was a slow realization that I just wasn’t willing to make the commitment to train for and compete in a marathon. While I still workout nearly every day and try to push the pain pace at least once per week, I have shifted my priorities now and it has been a slow process of letting go.

We always have the power of choice.

If you are an athlete with competitive goals you probably more willing to do things most of your non-competitive or recreational athlete friends are not, at least not on a regular, weekly basis.

When I was a competitive middle distance runner on the track, I was willing to push through pain in the legs and lungs that nothing else I’ve done since has really compared to. It was the only way to train my body and my brain to run a 1500m race as fast as possible.

As a cyclist training for mountain bike racing, I was willing to go for 3-4 hour rides in the pouring rain at a temperature of 5 degrees Celsius. Hands and feet frozen by the end, I enjoyed every hot shower of satisfaction knowing that I’d put in the work and was mentally tougher for it. On the trails I was willing to regularly push my comfort zones in order to come out the other side a more competent and confident rider each time I did.

As an Xterra triathlete and new mother of one and then two babies, then toddlers, then preschoolers, I was willing to put in 15-20 hours of consistent training per week despite the extra fatigue, and varying degrees of mom-guilt. I did it because it was a new and motivating challenge, and I wanted to prove to myself and others that motherhood doesn’t mean giving up your competitive goals, especially if you’re not ready to.

In post-retirement reflection, I can say I was willing in all of the above examples, I was choosing it daily even though I didn’t fully realize it at the time. I might have used the words, “have to” or “needing to” do such and such a workout or race.

In the sometimes all-consuming identity of being an athlete, it is easy to get stuck in the rut of “have to” or “need to” thinking. After 30 years of this athlete-centered thinking, it has taken time to unlearn this pattern of automatic craving to work towards a new race goal, the next hit of adrenaline on the schedule. To detach from the comfort and structure of the competitive athlete lifestyle, is to find freedom again in the choosing of new avenues to direct our finite amount of energy and time. There are many check points in the athletic journey where you can take time to answer the basic question – am I still willing to do what it takes on a daily basis to reach my goals? If yes, then keep going. If the honest answer eventually no, then be okay with that too, you are still you despite the status of your current relationship with your sport. Hang on for the right reasons. And if you choose to let go have patience with the process. And of course it never needs to be all or nothing or final, there are many shades of grey and like a good coffee the process needs time to percolate.

I was recently asked again by another friend if I wanted to train for a marathon with her, and being highly socially motivated I was tempted. But no thanks. At least not right now.

 

How to be the most mentally weak and unmotivated athlete you know!

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My best demotivating tips for you based on personal trial and error, and a little observation!

  1. Don’t take any self-responsibility for planning where you want to go and how you want to get there. Forget about all that big picture perspective planning with purpose. Never ask why and just do what you feel like one hour at a time. Let any of your success come by pure luck, chance, and circumstance.
  2. Whenever you feel tired or uncomfortable, stop and take a long, well-deserved rest!
  3. When you’re not training spend all of your time and precious attention span dwelling on all the well-crafted social media posts of your closest competitors. That way you’ll be continually reminded that your life as an athlete is less exciting, less good looking, and less successful.
  4. Only practice, train or compete in your sport when conditions are ideal or just right. Don’t settle for less than perfect weather, conditions, or company for working on upping your game.
  5. Never stay focused on one task for too long, especially ones that require deep thinking, difficult problem solving, or that push your current capacities in any way.
  6. When things don’t go according to plan always conclude only one of the following: 1) It’s all your fault or 2) Blame your poor performance on everything or everyone else. Remember that when setbacks occur there are no balanced, in between alternative perspectives to consider.
  7. Work only on building up your strengths. Maintain the belief that your weaknesses are permanent, unfixable, and untrainable
  8. Suck all the joy out of your athlete journey by “should-ing” on yourself every day. Spend lots of mental energy continually ruminating on some form of “I should be….”, “I should have..”, “I should be doing more of….”, “I should be doing less of…” etc. etc.
  9. Never ever take risks or try anything new that scares you. Stick to what you know and who you know. Stick to an approach or routine that feels safe and comfortable.
  10. Never make any training or competitive decisions that are socially motivated, include fun, or involve the support and knowledge of others around you. Stay inward and isolated; after all you’re a “serious athlete”

A bit of satire was fun…but of course we can all build motivation and mental toughness by doing exactly the opposite of all of the above! 🙂

 

Athlete-mom interview and co-author of The Athletic-Mom-To-Be: Jennifer Faraone

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Let me introduce you to Jennifer Faraone, a mom of two and avid runner from Toronto. As a mother of two children, Jennifer has competed in road running, trail running, and duathlons. She is a World Championship two-time medalist in Duathlon (Gold and Bronze) and has represented Canada at the World Mountain Running Championship. Jennifer has won numerous trail and running events including the 3 Day Transrockies, the Toronto and Ottawa half marathons and North Face Endurance Challenge-Bear Mountain and Collingwood. She also coaches and hosts trail running clinics.

We have never met in person but I was first introduced to Jennifer a few years agao when she contacted me for a book she was writing for athlete moms and moms-to-be. Ever since I did the phone interview with Jennifer for the book, I’ve been super excited to see the final product: The Athletic Mom-To-Be: Training your way into pregnancy and motherhood.athletic mom to be.png

When I was pregnant with my first child in 2007 there wasn’t a lot of up to date information out there to empower women to stay active during  pregnancy and in the first year plus after having a baby. I was super excited to hear about this book coming together. As many people have said, it is a wealth of information all in one spot and a book I wish I had had 10 years ago.

Grab a cup of tea and read on to learn more about Jennifer the athlete, the mother, her co-authored book, and other tips she has for athlete moms.

What was your life as an athletically before you become a parent and how has it evolved since?

As a child, I was active but nothing intense; usually ringette in the winter, and baseball in the summer.  In high school, I didn’t do too much.  In University, I started to run a bit, and joined the varsity team to work out. This was my first real exposure to running consistently.  But it wasn’t until a few years later when I moved to Toronto that I started to pick up running again around 2003 or 2004. It was the first time I’d followed a training plan! I saw my running improve which was exciting and I was starting to win races. But I would run on and off, as I had a hard time dealing with the mental side of running. I wanted to run for the sheer pleasure of it, I was enjoying placing on the podium, but I had a big fear of taking it too seriously. I also did the odd triathlon/duathlon as cross training.

I have two children, Sophia (age 10) and Dominic (age 7). After Sophia was born, I was hitting personal bests in the first year postpartum and I started to train with a team again; but I also had some injuries! This is also the time I started to explore with trail running and competed at the World Mountain Running Championships.  After Dominic was born, I started to race duathlons (run-bike-run) as well, going to the World Duathlon Championships twice.

I would say that my “relationship” with training and racing has deepened since having kids. I have been more purposeful in my workouts and race selections, but with a healthier attitude and balance.

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Did you exercise/train during your pregnancies? How has your training/racing evolved/changed since becoming a mother? 

With Sophia I was fortunate in that I had almost a text-book pregnancy. It went amazingly well and I was able to run most of my pregnancy; I would forget that I was pregnant when I was running; but then at 32 weeks I was showing signs of preterm labour, so I had to stop running. At 34 weeks my doctor gave me the go ahead to run again. I was heading out the door for that run when my labour started. She was born just under 35 weeks but totally healthy.

With Dominique, it was very different, as I had varicose veins from hell pretty much since the beginning. Running was too painful so I had to switch to pool running. I could do other forms of exercise but even walking was limiting. This was really tough but I wasn’t concerned about losing my fitness or gaining weight as I knew that it would be temporary. What I found really hard was the constant pain I was in (the varicose veins went from my groin to my feet) and I almost had to take a leave from work.

I would say that I have had more successes athletically since my kids have been born; I think it’s a combination of my desire to put in the extra level of training, wanting to be a good role model for my kids, and really being in tune with my body.  I am more thoughtful with my training and everything I do is because I want to do it as opposed to feeling the need to do it.  I’ve also seen my confidence and self-esteem grow, and I think that my kids play a big role in this. When I get nervous about a race I ask myself: “What would I tell Sophia or Dominic right now?” and it really reminds me of the reasons why I do this, that it’s okay if I have a bad race, and that I don’t have to do anything I truly don’t want to do. It’s all about fun and passion

As is the case with most athletic moms, my workouts are flexible as every week is different. Trying to run with others is rare but a treat when it happens. Sometimes I have to train at odd hours to avoid interfering with family life. But my husband and I are creative. Date nights usually involve some kind of athletic activity followed by dinner (with us still being sweaty at times). If we are driving to visit family, one of us is usually biking part way and getting picked up along the way. My daughter also bikes alongside my husband while he runs. Most of my runs are done during the day when they are at school; other parents at the bus stop are used to seeing me in my run gear covered in sweat.

We’ve also tried to incorporate family activities more in the past few years. Winter is all about cross country skiing an hour north of the city. The kids take their lessons, my husband Steve and I ski, and then after lunch we can all head out skiing again. Last year we all took part in the Ski Marathon. In the summer, we do a similar routine with mountain biking. If I’m doing a race, my kids will sometimes jump in the kids race or volunteer at the water stations. It’s really important to my husband and I that we do these things as a family and that our kids realize that “this is what we do”.

Maybe it has to do with trail running focus, but my training the past few years has been very laid back in that I wasn’t following any sort of plan, did few quality sessions, and did not monitor pace/distance etc. I just went out and did what I felt like doing; the only real intentional focus was ensuring that I got some long runs in. I like this approach as it works well for me; keeps me from taking things too serious and not getting anxious if I miss a workout. And makes it easier to have less interference with the family. These past few weeks, leading into a race I have on December 3rd, I’ve actually for the first time in years, started to put together a tiny training plan, meaning I aim to do one quality session per week, and schedule my long runs 10-14 days apart. (I’m more structured in the training plans I give my athletes)

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What currently motivates to get out training and/or racing?  What are your current training/racing ambitions?

I’m motivated by the pure enjoyment. Also the curiosity to see what more I can accomplish gets me out the door. I keep joking that I’m going to be one heck of a master’s runner.  I’ve always felt like I haven’t fully applied myself to training, or found the right training approach to see my potential. That being said, the minute I find that it gets too serious, I check out and take a break.

At the same time, I just love training and how it makes me feel. Doing well at races is icing on the cake.  I think that my husband is secretly annoyed with me in the way that I’m usually surprised when I win or place at a race. Honestly, I don’t usually go into a race thinking that I’m going to win and then I feel giddy like a child when I do well.  I think that this comes back to my fear of taking the sport too seriously and putting pressure on myself.

My daughter used to ask “mommy how did you do in the race”? And now she asks “Mommy, how did you do compared to the men in the race?” She has gotten used to the way that I win many races, and now sees me in a similar playing field as men. For her, this is just an innocent question; but at the same time, I think that this is amazing, as it’s showing her that it doesn’t always have to be the case where men and women are different. Training partners/competitors can be either sex.  Right now, she is in mountain biking class and she is the only girl so she is asking to discontinue the lessons. I’ve been talking to her about the fact that it’s okay (and kind of cool) to be the only girl and that she should be proud, and instead of looking at it as “1 girl and 8 boys” to see it as “these are other kids at a similar biking skill level as I, and can help me become a better biker”.

As for racing ambitions I’m not sure. This year my goal was to race some more competitive trail running races, and to continue exploring with longer distances.  My big race was the 3 day Transrockies (won) and in a few weeks from now I’m doing the North Face Endurance Challenge Championship 50k in San Francisco.  In the summer I also did the North Face Endurance Challenge Blue Mountain Marathon where I won, but also beat the first male by 15 minutes.  Prior to that I did the Cayuga Marathon (won, however all the competition was in the US 50 miler championship). As for next year, I’m still trying to decide what I want to focus on

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How do you balance family/work demands with your training/racing goals? 

I went from training first thing in the morning with others to training during the day often on my own.  I will be starting to train with the team I coach (MB Performance) in the new year as there will be a subgroup of us meeting at 9am which I’m super excited about! My husband travels a ton for work, and when he is in town, he works long hours; and we have no family nearby to help. So I try to give him the priority to work out in the mornings.  Creativity and flexibility are key, and my husband and I try to plan things a bit in advance. Where possible, we try to make a race a family affair.  My husband and I will sometimes go just the two of us to a destination race, so that it’s a combo of “we time” and racing.

But if helps a lot that I quit my job working in health care as project manager/change management consultant a few years ago, as it gives me the flexibility to train during the day. It also means that there is more time for me to manage the family stuff.  That being said, I feel that I am busier now than when I worked. Although I no longer have a typical office job, I also coach, write and put on various clinics and retreats every year.  I’m often waking up at 5:00 am to get some work done before the kids wake up.

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You recently co-authored the book “The Athletic Mom-to-be”. What is the book about? What was the inspiration for the book? How did the book come together?

I co-authored the book with Dr. Carol Ann Weis.  It all started when I was injured postpartum and the physio treating me suggested (in a joking way) that I should write a book on the topic of pregnancy and postpartum for athletes, as info was hard to find, not to mention confusing. For whatever reason, I thought to myself “sure, that would be fun; I can do that” and literally got started. Shortly after, I met Carol Ann and we decided to write it together.  The book is a one-stop shop for valuable information from preconception to postpartum and touches on a variety of topics; it’s not just about exercising.  It’s also about empowering women to make decisions that are right for themselves and for their baby; to do this, they need accurate, comprehensive and up to date info.  This is not a book that only talks about how to continue exercising while pregnant and how to get back to it after having a baby. If a person decides that they want to take a break from training during this time, good for her for making this decision! And we encourage such reflection, and there’s a lot in the book that touches on the emotional and mental side of exercising.  The book encourages women to let their body be the driver, and not the numbers on the watch.  And to respect that every pregnancy is different. We incorporated feedback from close to 50 female athletes helps to further reinforce this message.

I love researching a topic, so the idea intrigued me. I love helping others make exercising part of their lifestyle, and deriving pleasure from it. And because I now had personal experience to draw upon, the idea of the book made sense to me (even though I had no writing experience).  My goal from the beginning was to produce a resource for other athletic women regardless of their performance level.  Instead of having to do their own research and try to find the information (not to mention try to make sense of the research), we wanted to put everything in one spot. I also wanted to use the book as a platform to reinforce a few keys messages, such as:

  • Continuing to exercise, and at what level, is a choice and it is possible to make an informed decision with resources like this book
  • It’s okay to decide to take a break from your training; this doesn’t make you any less of an athlete.
  • Have faith in yourself while also recognizing the importance of understanding and appreciating the complexity of getting back to exercising postpartum
  • Pregnancy and postpartum is a time to think creatively and to change the mindset that “the way you did things before” might look differently now
  • Just because you are experiencing discomfort or pain doing your pregnancy doesn’t mean that you need to just “put up with it”. For instance, if a pregnant woman suddenly felt discomfort running, a common response would be “I guess my body is telling me that I need to stop running now”.  On one hand, sure, maybe this is what your body is telling you, and you need to respect that. But at the same time, a) your body might feel different in a few days, so wait and see and b) there’s things you can do to try and alleviate the discomfort such as a lower lumbar belt, seeing an osteopath, doing adequate strength work etc.
  • Have honest discussions with yourself and to reflect on what training means to you; how much of it is driving by guilt or pressure?

What makes this book unique as compared to other resources out there for athletes who transitioning into motherhood?

  • It is based on 3 key sources of information: 1) the latest research/guidelines, 2) advice from clinical subject matter experts (over 50) and 3) advice from other female athletes of various abilities (close to 50). So this is not just our opinions and thoughts; it’s a collection of valuable resources.
  • It’s not just about exercise; we touch on a lot of other subjects such as breastfeeding, pacing your mind, etc.
  • We focused on many of the common questions and misconceptions when it comes to athletes and pregnancy, starting from preconception
  • We really emphasize the fact that every pregnancy is different; you can’t compare
  • The book is very proactive in nature. It talks about what you can do before getting pregnancy in order to maximize your chances of staying active while pregnant. We also talk about the role of several health care providers such as osteopath, naturopath doctors, etc.
  • We try to reinforce what you CAN do, whereas most books talk about what you CANT do
  • There’s a big emphasis on pelvic floor wellness (which is often neglected or not discussed enough) and this spans across preconception, pregnancy and postpartum.
  • There is a lot of information about the pregnant body and the postpartum body; we feel it was important that women have a good understanding of the changes happening to her body, as this would help her to honour and respect it more.
  • The postpartum chapter is quite extensive; we divide it into 3 separate phases and explain in the detail the importance of each one. Getting back to training is not just about putting on your running shoes the moment you think you feel ready; it’s a lot more than that, especially if you want to come back for the long haul. Most books simply provide a few guidelines.

How has the book been received so far?

The book has been received really well so far.  We often get feedback such as “I wish I had this information before I was pregnant” or “Where was this book when I was pregnant”?  Unfortunately, our strength is not in marketing/advertising so I’m sure that there’s a lot more that we could be doing to market the book; but to be honest, our motivation was never to make money on this book; our goal was to produce the book and make it accessible to women.  Even the way that I describe the book likely doesn’t do it justice! I should probably hire a spokesperson!!!

What did you learn through the experience of putting this book together?

It takes time!!! And yes, info can be hard to find or track down, or try to make sense of the conflicting information at times.  But honestly, this was all such an amazing experience. I got so inspired writing this book. I loved seeing the diversity among women and their pregnancy; everyone was so open with sharing their experience, including the good and the bad.  It’s hard for a woman to admit that she let the “pressure” get the best of her and returned to training too soon. Or to admit that she had a hard time accepting her sagging tummy. Yet this book gave them the opportunity to reflect on their own experience and to be more accepting.

Our biggest challenge is writing this book was synching our schedules.  When I would be available to spend a lot of time on the book, Carol Ann would be super busy. And vice versa. This is the primary reason why the book took so many years to write

My biggest lesson: you can do things if you have the passion for it. I had no writing experience, yet I had the desire to write this book. I really, really enjoyed this entire process and this is what kept me going for many, many years. I really believed that the information we were providing was meaningful, unique and would help women a lot (I should add that we also intended for the book to be a valuable resource for health care providers; we were surprised with how many HCP are buying our book!)

Any other tips or advice (perhaps not found in your book) that you would have for other moms with goals of getting back in shape and/or continuing to train/compete with children?

One piece of advice that I’m been giving lately (which is not in the book) is that whether you are injured or getting ready to come back to training, start by carving out some time to yourself on a regular basis. For instance, take 30 minutes as “your time” and make this a routine 3 times a week. This way, once you are ready to start exercising, the time is already laid out for you and you don’t have too feel guilty. Taking time out for yourself can be really hard for many moms.   For example, a close friend of mine who is a mom of 3 kids, finally (after 6 years) began to exercise 4 days a week and was loving it for so many reasons.  She took so long to get started because she felt guilty about taking the time to herself and logistically thought that it would be impossible.  But then she got injured and couldn’t walk and she mentioned that she was really afraid that she wouldn’t be able to start up again once her injury had healed because she stopped the routine of taking that hour to herself 4 days a week–she got absorbed with the household stuff again. So I suggested that even though she couldn’t walk right now, that she should still preserve those one hour blocks four times a week and do something else so that once she was healed, she could easily start walking again with no guilt.  She loved that idea. I think that a huge hurdle for athletic moms is getting over the guilt of taking time to ourselves; and it’s too easy to say that there isn’t the time.

Second, don’t be afraid if your training is not a family affair; its okay if your training is just for yourself; it doesn’t make you any less of a mom.  You can still be a positive role model. Getting the kids involved with your sport has to be something that everyone enjoys otherwise it won’t be a positive experience. So often we hear comments like “involve your kids in your training”—and on one hand, it’s great to do so and offers so many benefits. But at the same time, it’s okay if you want to use this as your private time, and something you keep to yourself.  Respect your boundaries.  And these boundaries may change over time. Brining a small child to a race who is quite happy to nap in the stroller or sit on a blanket is much easier than bringing a toddler who can’t sit still.  I went through a period where it was more stressful to bring my kids. And whereas my daughter was quite happy to run/ski in the chariot, my son had other ideas.  So I chose to put him in daycare while I exercises, whereas my daughter was often my training partner.

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Thank- you Jennifer for sharing your personal and book story with us! For more from Jennifer you can check out her blog here: https://runningthetrails.wordpress.com/about-this-blog/

How to Make Friends with Performance Anxiety?

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Performance anxiety. It can roll through you in unexpected waves of nausea and self-doubt. It can threaten your appetite, your sleep, and leave your mind racing on high alert for any and every potential threat to your competitive readiness. A physical taper coupled with excess nervous energy can lead the best prepared athletes to over think, change regular pre-race routines, and even over train in the last few days before a race, when more rest would be best.

Symptoms of performance anxiety are unpleasant and uncomfortable and sometimes our first instincts are to judge it, attempt to control it, avoid it or make it go away. After all, our brain senses the anxious threat but doesn’t know the difference between an upcoming race we really care about and an approaching lion who hasn’t eaten for days.

So before you start to lament and ask, “WHY is this happening to me?!, decide to curl up in tense ball of nerves, or attempt to run away in a rush of panic, could a more welcoming approach to anxiety be considered? Can you let it in the door, make it your friend, and learn to harness it as positive performance fuel? Try these steps to make friends with performance anxiety.

Acknowledge its presence. Performance anxiety is normal and to be expected. We experience it because we care about an upcoming race or competition. If your anxiety level was zero, you’d likely be in a deep sleep, completely bored, and not invested to any degree in your sport or performance. View anxiety as the reminder that you care, you’re motivated, and that you’re ready to race, to compete, to push your limits and showcase your potential.

Your training has prepared you to handle it. Remember if you’ve trained seriously you’ve likely had some practice with managing anxiety before in your workouts. I know I’ve had workouts on the track as a runner, power tests on the trainer as a cyclist, or sets in the pool swimming that have made me nervous, with degrees of doubts as to whether I would be capable of handling the effort needed or simply completing the goals of the workout. But I also remember how good it feels to come out the other side, with that YES, I DID IT feeling. Sometimes looking forward to the other side of the workout or race, is enough to commit to pushing through the jitters and butterflies that come beforehand.

Calm your body and your mind will follow. IF you feel your pre-race anxiety levels to be so high that you can’t sleep, eat, or think straight, it may be time to practice using some specific calming techniques. For example, the use of deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation. Learning and regularly practicing taking deep, slow, complete breaths from the belly will usually trigger a relaxation response. Momentary muscle relaxation exercises can also help such as a quick body scan to consciously focus on releasing tension in muscles where it’s too high. It is also very common to carry excess tension in the neck and shoulders so releasing tension in these muscles tends to spread relaxation to the rest of the body. More specifically if you’re not sleeping because of anxiety, instead of fighting it, what is another calming activity you can focus on until you are able to sleep? If you’re having trouble with eating, what can you get down that will digest easily and contribute to your energy to perform? Making these contingency plans ahead of time is proactive preparation to manage anxiety with confidence. In turn, you will use up less excess mental and physical energy as a result of over reacting or over thinking when feeling anxious.

Harness the power of thoughts. A mental technique to gain control over our anxiety is by cognitive restructuring, that is, interpreting our anxiety symptoms (both mental and physical) as beneficial and positive for performing optimally. Focus on the conscious process of identifying and replacing negative interpretations of anxiety symptoms with positives. Ask yourself one simple question: “Is my interpretation of my anxious symptoms helping me to feel positive about my upcoming race? If the answer is no, work to replace such thoughts with more helpful and positive ones. For example, choosing to view your physical anxiety symptoms as an indication that you are prepared, physically ready to perform, and motivated to compete is a calming perspective when anxiety ridden thoughts strike. To illustrate, when I first started racing mountain bikes, I experienced my fair share of pre-race anxiety due to the newness of the sport, and the technical aspects that changed with every race course. I remember one specific race as a newbie to the sport, when I noticed my hands shaking before lining up to race. When I showed my hands to my brother his response, was “Good! It means all your systems are firing and you’re ready to go!” That was a great perspective shift that changed my mindset and confidence in a moment’s time. It was a great experience of the power of our ability to consciously change our interpretations of pre-race anxiety from a negative place to a positive, energized, and performance enhancing place.

Do one thing at a time. When your mind starts to race, or jump from thought to thought, and turns into a “monkey mind” slow it down with the purposeful intention to focus on only one thing at a time; only on what you have immediate control over in the moment. That is why pre-race routines, schedules, checklists and race plans that also include mental focus points are excellent tools for calming the mind and grounding our focus. Be proactive with strategies for moving confidently through the natural waves of anxiety.

Leading up to a race or competition, it can take some conscious effort and work to face anxiety thought acceptance, releasing tension through deeper breathing, reframing negative thoughts to positives, or routine behaviors. With practice, these strategies free you to focus on what you can control, and arrive at the start line with the confident, energized calmness that you’ve done everything possible to do your best on the day.

The Psychology of 4th Place

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“How much it must suck to come 4th at the Olympics!”… “All that hard work for nothing!”… “My heart aches for (insert athlete) getting 4th”… “It must be the worst feeling”… “Coming 4th is worse than dead last”. These are recent and common spectator comments you may have heard, thought yourself, and can read if you just take a scroll through a Twitter search for example.

On the other hand when an athlete seems overly upset or inconsolable over a 4th place finish in the media, one may feel like shouting back, “Why are you so upset?!! You just placed 4th (or even 5th, 6th etc.) AT THE OLYMPICS!!”

I remember watching one of my favourite Canadian athletes that I looked up to in my event at the time, the 1500m, run at the Olympic Games in Atlanta in 1996. It was Leah Pells and she finished 4th, half a second shy of a bronze medal. She ran an amazing race. She recently wrote a book on her life up to that moment, called “It’s not about the medal”. It is definitely worth the read to understand the full meaning of all her accomplishments on the track. The first chapter of the book starts with the following quote about that 1500m final race in Atlanta,

“I was thinking I could get 8th. Then, I thought I could get 7th, then 6th, 5th, 4th… and by the time I realized I could get 3rd it was too late. I had run out of track. Some people I’ve talked to have been saying, ‘You were so close to a medal. Too bad’. Those people don’t really know me. They don’t know where I’ve been or come from.” (Leah Pells, Tri City News, August 1996)

A recent CBC article came out titled, “Canadians felt heartbreak of Olympic ‘tin medal’ with the byline, “Fourth is probably the worst place”. One online comment in response to the article stated, “This story is only newsworthy if there is context added.” When it comes to understanding the context and subsequent psychology of “winning” fourth place or “losing” a medal I couldn’t agree more.

As Leah Pells stated regarding the 4th place sympathizers, “Those people don’t really know me.” If one is to judge an athlete or team’s 4th place performance as full of heartbreak or somewhere towards the other end of the emotional spectrum: complete joy and ecstasy, you must first understand it within the context of the entire season and years leading up to that point. Was the athlete a clear favourite or one of many contenders? In sports like swimming the field is so deep that being a fraction of a second off can be the difference between 1st and 8th. Perceived clear favourites  can miss the podium by having just a slightly off day. A season’s best or personal best at the Olympic Games is always something to celebrate but a “choke” can be unfairly assumed without knowing all those contextual factors; the health status, the athlete’s full story of the journey there or even accounting for many luck factors, which are a much bigger factor in some sports than others (think BMX) that go into performing on the day!

And in speaking of sports that involve some luck, our Canadian mountain biker, two time World Champion (2011 and 2015), Catharine Pendrel recently wrote a blog reflecting on her Olympic experience and her Bronze medal. You can read it here. Catharine writes about her personal growth as an athlete through Beijing and London. In Rio, she was caught up in a crash right off the start line, had her shifting stop working for part of the race, and crashed again in the final lap. Those are some of the luck aspects of mountain biking. On the other hand, she was ready to respond and fight back through all of them from everything she’d learned and experienced as an athlete at that point.

In summing up her Olympic race she writes, “I LOVE my Bronze. To me it is Gold. I got everything I wanted out of that performance. It was far from perfect, but it was magic. I rode the race of my life and got exactly out of my performance what I wanted most, a ride that I could be proud of.”

And perhaps that is what needs to be celebrated more often. Attention, media recognition and Olympian status certainly create a large perceived gap between the meaning of a Bronze and 4th place. When we finish on the flip side and feel like we’ve missed out on a dream result (and for some the financial payoffs) by so little, of course there will be mixed emotions, and when any competitive athletes tastes “victory” so close, they will always think about what could have been, continue to strive for more, and hopefully come back even more motivated. In that same mountain bike race, our other Canadian rider Emily Batty finished 4th, and 2 seconds behind Catharine. I hope she can now feel more pride than defeat, and celebrate her effort, race execution and say that was the best ride she could put out on the day. And when you can say that, there is no shame in coming 4th at the Olympics.

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Photo credit: Tyler Anderson

 

 

Why Get Organized for Optimal Performance?

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“Camping is so much work! All we’re doing is organizing, cleaning up and putting stuff away” was a recent observation of my husband’s. My family and I spent the B.C. long weekend camping. While it was lots of fun, deciding what to pack, and how to set up camp was also a challenge in order to develop a system to keep things organized and not lose stuff. Of course, not being expert campers like many of our campsite neighbors, we forgot plenty of things like a rope to hang our wet towels between trees, and noted what we should bring, and leave behind next time. With more practice, the potential countless decisions around something like a weekend of camping get easier and more efficient. What are the top priorities and which things are less significant in the decision-making tree? Furthermore, the better we get at organizing anything in our lives, the less stress we’ll experience and the more mental capacity we have to focus on other things around us.

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As athletes, countless decisions go into pursuing potential, and optimizing performance.There are the more significant choices like what races to do or what coach to work with down to smaller decisions around the daily details around training, nutrition, and recovery.  While constantly juggling the work-life-sport balancing act, ranking the importance of each decision can be easier for some than others. Either way, when we waste too much time on trivial decisions or on decisions that don’t really matter (e.g. should I wear my smurf or my superhero underwear today?) then the result can be neural fatigue, depleting our energy and leaving less energy for the more important decisions and for what really matters to us in terms overall and daily priorities.

In this age of information overload, the processing of every decision we make such as what to pay attention to and what to ignore comes at a cost to our brain. Neurons are living cells so when they’ve been working hard we experience fatigue.

Attention is a limited resource. With brains that evolved to focus on one thing at a time we often have more things to keep track of than our brains were designed to handle. This is also why optimal performance often happens in sport with an in the moment, simple focus, with a well-rehearsed and practiced mantras or cue words. These types of mental tools leave no room for analyzing the past or fretting about the future. Perhaps this is why many of us enjoy the pureness of the single-minded focus we experience while training, playing, and competing in sport. The rest of the time we are often in a multitasking state demanding our attentional system to focus on several things at once – we read email and talk on the phone, or watch TV while social networking or studying for an exam.

When our brains attention constantly flips from one thing to another, there is a neurobiological switching cost. For example, ever wonder why scrolling through your social media feeds can leave you feeling more fatigued than recharged afterwards? It can be a process of constantly deciding what to pay attention to and what to ignore. Since our attention is a limited-capacity resource, our brains function best when we start a task and stick to it. So how does all of this relate to performance? Here are a few points to consider as you organize your life around sport in the name of maximizing your brains attentional capacities, and optimizing your overall energy and performance.

  1. Organize your physical environment to take the burden off your brain. While we all have varying degrees of cleanliness, home organization and tolerance for messiness, it is hard to disagree with how frustrating it can be when we misplace our keys, wallet or goggles for swim training on the way out the door in a hurry. And of course, we often misplace things, even if we have a regular keeping place for them, when our attention has been distracted elsewhere. While this may be a work in progress for most of us, the more we can organize, keep our belongings together in functional categories and have a regular place for them in our physical environment (e.g. camping gear, workout gear, keys, glasses, phone or even files on a computer), the less energy we’ll waste looking for things. This also applies to being on the road for athletes. As someone who has traveled to many races with a bike on planes, it is essential to develop an organization system for finding things, packing, and not losing things while away. Good organization of time and things reduces anxiety and stress, and allows more time to focus on performance and what matters most!

 

  1. Clear your mind by writing things down as often as needed. As I wrote about in a recent post, writing things down can be an excellent way to process ideas, plans, and reflections and literally take the mental load off your brain. For example when I progressed from a runner to a mountain biker to an Xterra triathlete, the list of gear and equipment to maintain went up substantially for each sport. Making of list of what not to forget or what routine to follow on race day was and still can be a simple example of getting it off your mind so you can relax, sleep well and know you won’t forget anything as long as you go over the checklist again on the way out the door. The same goes for organizing your race plan into manageable mental chunks and focus segments. The less conscious decision-making you need to do during a competition, the more your brain can focus on auto-pilot and more energy can be put into performing. Keep in mind this is a practiced and continually refined process with time, patience and experience.

 

  1. Focus or daydream while minimizing multitasking. As already mentioned, it takes more energy to shift your attention from task to task than it does to focus. If you’re able to organize your time in a way allows you to focus for extended chunks of time, you’ll not only get more done, but you’ll be less tired and less neurochemically depleted afterwards. The challenge is that our brain’s attention is easily distracted by something new called the “novelty bias”. Multitasking is like an addiction loop as our brain becomes rewarded with dopamine bursts for processing new stimuli that grab our attention; think of constantly attending to notifications on your smartphone. I also remember the short period of time when I decided to work on my French comprehension by listening to the radio while riding my bike on an indoor trainer. An already boring task coupled with a challenging cognitive task did not work out well for my ability to stay focused on what I was hearing, my motivation to keep pedaling or my overall energy management! Neither, in my opinion, does reading or checking your phone while working out at the gym. This also relates to the fact that daydreaming also takes less energy than multitasking. I often enjoy the time I have to daydream while out on an easy bike ride or run without the constant interruptions that are hard to avoid at home or work. It is a great time to be creative, make new connections and naturally problem solve things that have been on our minds. Focusing and daydreaming both help to recalibrate and restore our brains while multitasking does not. Staying organized in order to focus on one thing at a time while ignoring all the potential distractions certainly takes awareness and discipline, but it will pay off in terms of brain power potential and ability to focus in your sport as well! I know I’m still working on it!

Getting-Organized

 

 

Earn your Confidence

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In my work as a mental performance consultant with athletes, struggles with confidence is one of the issues that comes up most frequently. Think of the most confident people or athletes you know. Were they born confident or did they develop the confidence you see in them over time? Nature versus nurture debates aside, when it comes to sports I think most of us have observed or experienced personally how fleeting confidence can be. One moment you’re feeling on top of the world, ready to take on anything and anyone, and the next moment you may be going through an existential crisis questioning what in the world you are doing on the competitive stage in the first place? Passing thoughts like ‘why am I doing this?’ certainly don’t contribute enhancing your sport confidence.

So where does confidence come from and how do we nurture it and build it over time?

Like physical training, confidence builds in increments. Rock solid confidence doesn’t come over night and like any other aspects of an athletes training, it will have setbacks and temporary slumps. How we work through setbacks and what we look to for sources of confidence can make a big difference in building and keeping confidence more consistent over time.

Look beyond competitive results. Don’t buy into the common misconception or cliché that “you are only as good as your last result.” We can’t deny that a great or peak competitive performance certainly adds momentum to confidence. But we also can’t let one disappointing day override the confidence earned to that point from months or years of practice and competitive experience. If you let your last competition, race, workout, or training session determine your daily confidence you’ll be in for a real roller coaster ride emotionally; not a good way to balance your emotional energy or perform optimally over time! Furthermore looking beyond results also helps you to focus on the bigger picture perspective of all the reasons why you enjoy pursuing your sport in the first place.

Create a confidence plan. Sometimes when the normal waves of pre-competition nerves and anxiety hit in the weeks and days before an event, our brain says hey this a threat and we need to prepare for it. That is when negative thoughts and doubts creep in and it becomes easy to question our preparedness and readiness to compete. Many athletes I’ve worked with have found it helpful to write down all the things that have contributed to their confidence over time – things they’ve accomplished, overcome, positive feedback and encouragement they’ve received: all and any reasons they have to be and remain confident. Reading over this list when pre-competition nerves strike can be a calming and centering routine which also helps to shift the focus back to an eager and excited pre-competition state.

Focus on your own plan. If there is one thing that undermines confidence more than anything else it is constant comparison with others and rigid expectations with those comparisons (e.g. I should be ahead of him/her). While competitive rivalries are there to optimally challenge us and bring out our competitive best, if you’re focused on others or constantly comparing yourself against others in training or in racing, it will only erode your own confidence over time since what others are doing (or what you think they are doing) is out of your control. Put your focus and energy into your plan, what works for you and what you need to focus on pre-, during and post-competition to do your best. For example, the late Al Oerter, an American athlete, was incredibly a four-time Olympic Champion in the discus throw. In an interview he said one of the secrets of his success was practicing in absolutely every kind of weather condition, an example of focusing on your own plan and preparation for anything!

To grow confidence it needs to be challenged. Like the title of this blog, confidence needs to be earned. If confidence was something that was given to us or that we could buy it wouldn’t mean much. Confidence grows from those moments of pushing through fears, anxieties, challenges, setbacks, workouts, races, competitions and coming out mentally and/or physically stronger from them on the other side. When we embrace training and competitive days as opportunities to push our current comfort zones when it comes to effort, focus, and overcoming adversities we can appreciate how they help to build confidence and belief over time. When viewed this way, successes and setbacks can both equally contribute to building consistent sport confidence.

 

Athlete-mom interview: Alison Archambault

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Meet Alison Archambault, of beautiful Bragg Creek, Alberta. My good friend Richelle Love introduced me to her online. I will let Richelle’s words introduce this athlete-mom. I love Alison’s story, her approach, perspectives and her wise advice:

There is the most amazing athlete mom I know! Her name is Alison. She is a single mom who’s daughter does a tonne of extra curricular activities and she is always there with and for her daughter AND she works full time and then some, is a volunteer firefighter and she trains dogs to be companions for those with special needs! All with gratitude, a smile and an awesome sense of humour. I literally don’t know how she does it all. She is just amazing. I do know that she has fallen asleep on her trainer before….. You would love her D!

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What was your life like athletically (or otherwise) and how has it evolved since becoming a mother? 

I have always been active as a runner and a swimmer.  After my daughter was born (Mackaela, now 11), I suffered from postpartum and was really looking for something that was “mine” because the new titles I had like “Mom”, “working Mom” etc were heavy!  My daughter was almost a year old, the baby weight was still there and I was feeling the farthest thing from myself, when I heard an advertisement on the radio when driving to work one day for a women’s triathlon (Strathmore Women’s Triathlon).  I figured since I already ran and swam, how hard could it be to add in a little bike ride?  Famous last words!  The race didn’t come together at all well, but I was hooked!

My athletic life has ramped up considerably since Mackaela joined my family.

My long-time partner was a military veteran.  He was impacted by PTSD and mental wellness issues.  While we were still together, I knew it was important for me to have a stress release from the heavy, dark blanket of sadness that began increasing cover our home – triathlon training definitely did that.   As the stress and sadness at home increased, I trained more and more.  Training and doing triathlons helped me develop the mental strength and clarity to make important decisions about my daughter and my physical safety and emotional well-being.  It kept me grounded.  As a single parent, and especially as my daughter gets older and navigates our body-conscious world, physical wellness has become even more important to me as part of setting a healthy example for my daughter, as well as making sure I have time to myself to re-group before I have to go home to my beautiful pre-teen (and all the challenges and joys of that life stage!).

Did you train during pregnancy? If so please describe.

I continued to train for long distance running races and swimming races throughout my pregnancy until shortly before my daughter’s birth – I honestly think my body would have revolted if I stopped doing something it had been doing for 20 years!   I was fortunate that my OB was a long distance runner herself and a tremendous advocate for “keep doing it”.  Physical activity wasn’t always comfortable as my body changed, but it helped me feel as normal as possible during pregnancy.  I did the Kananaskis 100 mile relay 3 weeks before my daughter was born….I’m pretty sure that’s what helped her make the decision to enter the world a bit early!

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What motivated (or continues to inspires you) to get training and racing? How has your athletic life evolved or change throughout motherhood so far? 

My daughter and our active lifestyle inspire me to train, and keep training, because I want to be able to stay active and keeping up to my daughter for a long time to come.  We live in Bragg Creek and spend everyday hiking to the top of mountains and exploring.  I don’t have an atypical triathlete’s physique, but my athletic dreams and passions aren’t defined by that.   It’s important for me to set a good example for my daughter, her friends and other women about what is achievable when you set your mind to it.   My daughter comes to all my triathlons, and volunteers at countless events to support others achieving their goals and cheers her heart out.  I’m not sure I ever appreciated how much my commitment to physical fitness would create a space of empathy and encouragement in her to support others in their achievements.

My athletic life hasn’t changed much since my daughter arrived, what has changed is how I approach training and what I’m training for.  As her primary caregiver for most of my daughter’s life, like so many other athletic moms I’ve had to juggle training around family and work demands.  I have a high demand executive-level job, life on my acreage requires a lot of work and in my spare time, I’m a volunteer firefighter/medic and train service dogs.  I’ve got a lot on the go, and those passions take time away from training and family.  When my daughter was younger, I would run the highway and  driveway up to our acreage in 15 minute increments so I could check on her, or have her sit in a lawn chair and count my hill reps.  Sometimes I combine my run in the evenings on a mountain trail with her riding her bike and the dogs running alongside me.  She used to practice counting for math class by counting laps at the pool while I trained.  My coach also lets my daughter join into club training swim nights so I don’t have to make the choice between “Mom’ing” and training.  I always carry my cell phone with me to train, on days when she’s feeling a bit clingy, she calls me to chat.  Sometimes we chat for 20 minutes of an hour-long bike ride.

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Regardless of the size of my fitness goal, I’ve learned the importance of having a ‘community’ of like-minded people as part of my support network.   Rose and Richelle at Tri It Multisport were instrumental not only in outfitting me in pretty and functional gear to help me achieve my goals, they have also encouraged me endlessly and introduced me to the Triathlete Within Club to ensure I had people to train with safely in, and off, season – many of whom have become some of my closest friends.  The club has members from all walks of life and all fitness goals, but the coaches really unite everyone behind positive attitudes, safety, sportsmanship and the notion that there’s room for everyone’s goals and dreams always.   This year, I invested in a coaching relationship with Coach Chris Lough to help me achieve my wild-assed goals.  Words don’t describe the peace of mind and joy I feel from having him believe in me and my goal (on hard days I feel like he might be the only one of us that does!), but as importantly, hold me accountable to the training & commitment required to achieve my goals.

My daughter decided to do her first triathlon last summer.  I helped her train and prepare for her race and then took a front row seat on course cheering my face off.  She joined Kronos Triathlon Club this year and I’ve had the privilege of watching her continue to develop a positive relationship with her body, its strength and power through sport.  I’ve watched her question her abilities to achieve her dream and then overcome the anxiety to have a great race day.  I’ve seen her develop resilience when the race doesn’t go “as planned” and always show tremendous gratitude for volunteers who make dream days possible.  I’ve watch her learn to defend “why” being active is important to her to her peers.  This all may have happened with a sedentary Mom, but I don’t believe so.

What are your current training/racing ambitions for 2016?

To date, I have competed in 6 half-iron distances and countless long distance running races. My wild-assed goal for 2016 is to complete Ironman Kentucky and I have a few lead up races like IM YYC, Blitz Duathlon and the Wildrose Triathlon to keep it real.

How do you balance family/work demands and interests etc with your athletic goals? 

I don’t buy into the concept of balance.  There’s only so many hours in the day and inevitably there’s some things that are going to get more or less of your attention at any given point in time because they need to.   You can constantly chide yourself for not being somewhere other than you are, but that doesn’t fix anything.

My daughter is the most important person in my world and she knows she’s  my #1 priority.  I am best able to be her parent and co-adventurer when I’m physically fit and emotionally healthy.  There are lots of things I’m passionate about in my life.  Creating a weekly schedule helps a lot to make sure everything/everyone gets what they need – mostly.  But, I won’t sugarcoat it…. there are times after a week full of work and supporting my princess’ life that I leave for a scheduled training run sobbing,  get in the pool with a knot in my stomach or hop on my bike after kid bedtime so late that its dark and a bit unsafe to be training so late, all the while questioning if I’m spending my time in the right places.  You just do the best you can each day and try harder tomorrow.

My coach works hard to plan training around family, work and personal commitments. My runs often take place at 4:30am and training rides often aren’t done until 9pm.  Life lesson…when the RCMP pull you over and offer to drive you & your bike home because its getting dark out – you left your ride too late after chores and homework!

Several of my Mom friends offer playdate on Big Training Days so I can get 6+ hours of training in an my daughter is still having fun.  My Triathlete Within pals and I frequently rearrange our schedules so we can train together and hold each other company – misery loves company.

Fortunately, my daughter is usually kinder to me than I am to myself, and that’s an important lesson to learn. I came in from an early morning run not too long ago, my daughter was awake watching TV before school and I apologized for not being there when she woke up.  Her reply back sticks with me:

“It’s okay, Mom.  You’ve got big dreams.  If strong girls don’t show me and my friends that we can do triathlons, how will we know how big we can dream?”

Being creative on how I get my training in helps and keeping things in perspective, is important.  A few weeks ago, I had a training ride scheduled on a Thursday evening and my daughter begged me to let her ride with me.  My inside voice was frustrated as I needed to get my ride in but Mom duties ALWAYS come first.  An hour later, after she braved her first highway ride, I reflected on how inspired I was by her and how joyful I was about the evening we had.  If I wasn’t physically active I wouldn’t have had that amazing experience. I hadn’t been flexible with the plan for the night, I would have missed out on making memories with my girl.  Finding my joy while training and racing is always a priority!

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Any tips or advice you would have for other moms with goals of getting back in shape and/or continuing to train/compete with children? 

Just start.

Be kind to yourself – you will always be harder on yourself than you family will.

Be brave – set big goals and don’t apologize for them.

Sign up for races in your desired sport – the energy is contagious and having community is awesome.

Bring your kids with you to races

Make sure your heart and head are where your feet are – get a good training run in, then go home and be a great Mom.

If you’re feeling super stressed about leaving your kids to go train, trust your instincts: grab a little one close and skip training for the day once in a while.

Be creative in how you train – include your kids when you can.

(Try to) Drop the Mommy guilt.

Offer an encouraging word when you see another woman out training.  A little ‘darn you look strong’, goes a long way to quelling someone else’s Mommy guilt and could in turn remind you, it’s ok to do it too!

Find your joy – do physical activities that make you happy.

Find a support network of pals to train with.

Offer to look after someone’s children so they can get away to train – it’s a priceless gift with amazing karma

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Meet Karen DeWolfe: Founder of Momthletes

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Meet Karen DeWolfe, a mother of three of Corvallis, Oregon. I met Karen in my Canada Cup mountain bike racing days and I still remember how fast she could fly down the hills. I wanted her fearless speed! More recently I have admired from afar how she has started a momthletes group to get moms together to exercise, get fit, connect and have fun! Since I’ve been wanted to learn more about what she does I asked her for an interview to tell us more. Read on for more on the story of momletes, Karen’s vision, goals, and how she and other moms work together to overcome the challenges of getting out for exercise. A great read full of so many tips and great resources!!

(Note: these great photos are courtesy of www.becerraphotography.com and to learn more about momthletes visit: www.momthletes.com)

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  1. Tell me more about your athletic background and how has it evolved since starting a family?

I grew up in Nova Scotia (eastern Canada) and my Grandfather, my father and uncles were always getting us to do fun little challenges, like diving off cliffs, playground obstacle courses, and all sorts of fun adventures. They really taught me a tremendous amount about overcoming fears and most importantly they knew how to make exercise really fun. My family enjoyed the outdoors together, camping, canoeing and hiking. We all loved riding bikes. We rode everywhere – the candy store, swimming holes, friend’s houses and to town. Being able to ride bikes was freedom. I also ran cross country, did gymnastics, and downhill skied.

In middle school I discovered mountain biking and I loved it. I did my first bike race when I was 16 thanks to a wonderful mentor who taught me and hundreds of people in Nova Scotia how to ride bikes over the years. Then I found another amazing bike community while studying Forestry at the University of New Brunswick. This lead me to my now husband, Matt Betts who helped me take racing to a whole new level. Within two years of meeting him, I was racing Canadian Nationals. The Fredericton bike community included a number of amazing mountain bikers including Peter Wedge, Anna Healy, Eric Goss, Matt Hadley, Geoff and Catherine Pendrel. The Radical Edge bike shop had a huge part in bringing us all together.

I raced mountain bikes at the elite level for much of my twenties.  When I was 26 I had my first baby. I did my first local race 5 weeks after my daughter was born and was racing world cups within 9 months. I also started racing Xterra and was loving that too. Then my daughter suddenly became ill and required hospitalization, blood transfusions and tests. She got better but it took 2 months for her to fully recover. That ended my first season of racing as a mother. My son also had a scary start to life, not breathing for the first 5 minutes of his life. It was unclear if he was going to survive, and if he did survive if he would have brain damage. He made a full recovery.  These two early experiences helped me decide to focus my time primarily on my children.

The first few years with children were hard for me as I had to let a lot of things change. There were days when I felt like I was failing as an athlete and a mother and days when I felt I was doing great. I ran more and biked less. I played with my kids a lot and taught them how to ride everywhere – to the library, preschool, to the candy store.  I still did some mountain bike racing locally and had fun trying some new challenges; 50 – 100 mile mountain bike races, some Xterra events, and my first longer running races, 15-50km distances.

As a family we went hiking and backpacking all over Oregon and travelled to Costa Rica to learn about their father’s amazing world of forest ecology, hummingbirds and flowers. It has been a great life but allowing the athlete in me to change was very difficult.

My oldest daughter is Ava Betts (11) – she hiked a 10,000 volcano with her friends for her 10th birthday last year.

My son is Miles Betts (8)– he is a limit pusher. He could ride his bike 6 miles when he was 3.5. He has a lot of energy.

My youngest is Anna Betts (5) – She is pure sweetness. She is kind and loving and rides her bike a mile to school and back everyday chatting happily most of the time.

2. You’ve started Momthletes, which is devoted to helping mothers fit exercise into their lives. How did the idea for Momthletes come about? 

I had a long standing Thursday Playgroup with a group of women I call my Pro Moms, because they are completely dedicated to their children. Playgroup was a place where our kids could all play together and us Moms could talk about anything we needed to.  When it was time to put my youngest in school, my Playgroup Moms asked me what I was going to do with my new found time. They suggested I help other mothers figure out how to stay fit. They had watched me fit exercise into my life in a “by any means necessary” way over 10 years – running to preschool, biking to playgroup, running to the grocery store, doing intervals with napping babies in the chariot. They suggested other people would want to learn about how I integrated my life as an athlete and a mother. And thus Momthletes was born.

I started with my Playgroup Moms, showing them my ball workout that I use almost exclusively for strength training, and I gave a few women workout programs. We also started the Momthletes Facebook page so we could share our victories and strategies with one another. Then I met another Mom friend out running one day. She told me she wished she could just go for long adventurous runs some day. I told her I was planning on starting a Momthletes class and she said she would be there and would tell others. That began the Momthletes Basic Workout which we are still doing today. We start with body strength exercises on the playground, then run or hike straight up an 800 foot hill and then sit in silence for 3-5 minutes at the top of the hill overlooking our city. We then walk back down and talk about whatever we need to. That wonderful Mother I met running that day can now run a half marathon at the drop of a hat, is raising three beautiful children and is completing her master degree in education.

Now I offer different programs – personal training, mountain bike lessons, and different running classes. I help women organize their homes to make more time and space for exercise, define their goals for exercise and life and create work out schedules that support those goals.  I help women pick out the appropriate equipment for the exercise they are interested.  I also direct them to physical therapist and message therapists if there are issues I think they need help with.  Momthletes Classes bring together a community of women who are dedicated to helping each other reach their goals in exercise and life.  There are a variety of prices and ways to get involved and I am still planning new programs to meet the many needs mothers have.

Momthletes13. What does a typical week of workouts with momthletes look like?

Summer Schedule example:

Monday 6am – Momthletes Basic Training Workout

Monday 9am – Run with Ease (how to make running easier)

Tuesday – Personal Sessions

Wednesday 6am – Trail Running Techniques (how to make hard terrain easier)

Wednesday 9am – Grampy John Family Adventure Day – bike/hike adventures with kids

Friday 6am – Trail Run – 5 miles at a talking pace.

The schedule changes depending on the season. All the workouts are outside. This winter we met every Monday and Friday at 6 am and trail ran in the dark with headlamps and often in the rain. It was not large group but the women who did it reported feeling less seasonal effects and left every workout feeling tough and happy and ready to take on anything, and they do!

momthletes24. In your experience what are the biggest challenges moms have for fitting exercise into their lives?

  1. Finding the Time – There are so many things mothers have to do. Career, housework, educating our children, volunteering, grocery shopping, making healthy meals – the list is endless. Taking time out of that endless list for exercise can seem impossible for moms and dads. But when we stop taking time to care for our bodies and ourselves, these other tasks start getting more and more difficult.
  1. Pain – A lot of women are in pain after they go through a pregnancy and give birth. Our core strength completely changes after pregnancy and this can change how our bodies feel. Then there are all the things we don’t like talking about but need to – tearing, bladder control, even sore breasts can make exercise painful. Figuring out ways of using exercise to make postpartum better and not worse is key to helping women get back on the path to exercise. Sometimes this means prioritizing physiotherapy or massage therapy to become relatively pain free before beginning exercise.
  1. Money – The gym membership, the fancy bike trailer, and other exercise equipment all costs money. There are also all the expenses of having a new baby. One part of Momthletes is trying to help women find inexpensive options for exercise while they are adjusting to all the costs of having children.
  1. Fear – There can be a lot of fear beginning an exercise program. Fear that it will be painful or too hard, that now is not a good time, or that the community will not be kind and accepting. Overcoming fear can really open up a lot of doors in life and fitness.
  1. Support – Sometimes women do not feel like they will have the support they need to begin exercising. Women need support to begin exercise, sometimes in the form of encouragement, the giving of time or financial support to take the steps to get fit. This support needs to come from our partners, community, families and/or friends.

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5. What are the biggest factors that help moms to be successful at exercising regularly?

A Strong Community: Having a community of people to exercise with who understand the challenges we face as mothers can really help women fit in exercise regularly. Having people to meet up with and share their knowledge about exercise with one another is invaluable.

Time Management: Mothers have to understand time management. There are so many things we have to do as mothers, it is key to know how our days work in order to fit exercise in. Having a workout plan ahead of time, that takes in consideration all the other roles and duties mothers have can dramatically increase our chances of exercising. I found Seven Habits of Highly Effective People  by Stephen Covey a very helpful resource to teach me how to schedule my time for all my different roles in life.

Household Organization: Having my home in a reasonable amount of order dramatically improves my ability to access my clothes, healthy food and my equipment quickly and easily. Quick transitions can only happen when our things are organized and ready to go. Learning how to have this piece in place was a game changer for me. But it can be difficult to learn how to fit new people into our homes and lives! The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo has added years on to my life.

Getting Help and Fixing Pain – Take care of your pain. Don’t just live with it. There are great physiotherapist and massage therapists. Find out from other athletes and mothers who they trust and get help if you are in pain. Pain is exhausting and can often be fixed with the right help. It can take time to heal but it is worth it.

Low Cost Exercise Options – I highly recommend the Chariot (Thule) or Burley trailers to people. It is a big initial investment but it is a solution to many problems. Bike Trailers and joggers allow mothers to exercise without a gym membership (thinking of it that way, it is paid off in less than one year). We used ours often as transportation. It has served as my family’s second car, saving us a huge amounts of money in gas, car payments, insurance, etc. Plus, it has allowed me to stay fit and teach my children how to stay fit.

The exercise ball is my most valuable piece of exercise equipment (okay, after my mountain bike). You can get a full body workout in your home for $12.

Running is also an inexpensive activity. The Cool Impossible by Eric Orton, has some really great information on running in a way that is easy on the body.

Overcome Fear – There is nothing as scary as having a baby and with that done, what is left to fear? Don’t let fear stop you from doing great things. Find a community of friends to help you see past those fears.  You will help them do the same.

Support – Moms sometimes have to ask for support from their families in order to fit exercise in. I find most families are excited to see their partners/mothers out exercising and it makes everyone in the family feel inspired. When we learn to take care of ourselves we can take care of everyone else much more effectively.

6. What are the biggest things you’ve learned since starting your group?

  1. That I will never stop learning.
  2. I can learn from everyone around me.
  3. I am constantly gaining a deeper understanding of how important exercise is.
  4. Every mother out there has an inner athlete that is amazing and unlimited.

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7. How do you hope momthletes will continue to grow and evolve in the future?

Team Momthletes – I would like to see an official team of inspiring mothers of all abilities levels doing the adventures, and races they dream of. There is already a Facebook page for sharing ideas, races, stories and information. I would like to find sponsors and support mothers making their athletic dreams happen.

Momthletes Non-Profit – Fun activities for families will be used as fundraisers and the money raised goes to various organizations that are doing great work. This has begun this summer with Grampy John Days – adventures in memory of my grandfather, my first great coach. We bike around the city to fun locations (including the candy store).

Momthletes LLC – I would like to see Momthletes LLC continue to grow. I love working with my clients and watching what happens in my classes when women work together towards their goals. I also love seeing mothers reconnect with their bodies and discover their unlimited potential. I would like to begin thinking about working with clients online in the coming year.

Momthletes Retreats – The first retreat is taking place this summer. The retreat is based out of Oakridge, Oregon and we will be taking advantage of the town’s incredible mountain bike and trail running system, including a portion of the Pacific Crest Trail leading to the Diamond Peak volcano. My goal is to have more retreats (Costa Rica, Bend, OR) and bring amazing women together to travel to other inspiring places and share each others talents.

8. Anything else you would like to add (tips, insights etc)?

Exercise is more than exercise. There is no separation between body and mind. When our bodies get stronger, our minds get stronger. As our bodies learn endurance, we learn endurance in our lives. Being able to endure the hard parts of life means we are able to hold on and get back to better times. But mostly exercise is just a lot of fun. And it helps you look healthy and nice. And you meet great people.

When we take care of our bodies we can take care of all the other bodies in our lives.

Move with your children. Use exercise as transportation, save the gas, earn your calories, and teach your kids how to stay fit and healthy. In my town, it often doesn’t take much more time to move by bike or foot. Then once I get to a location – grocery store, library, playdate, I have my stroller there already. If babies are sleeping, they can just stay asleep while I get errands done. The chariot was the best investment I made as a parent.

Get outdoors – it is hard to be sad for a long time outdoors. Try it. The outdoors will absorb your hard feelings and return you to a better place.

Keep moving, keep exercising. Balance it with your love for your children. Sometimes it is okay to change, slow down, speed up, switch sports, join a band. You may find you are just rediscovering other parts of yourself that were there all along as well. Let yourself explore your life.

Someone told me this fact about butterflies. When caterpillars enter into chrysalis they completely dissolve, then reassemble the liquefied caterpillar molecules into the butterfly. I think this is what happens to us when we become mothers. We liquefy and change dramatically – but with the proper conditions and time we reassemble all our original parts and emerge as something even more beautiful.

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